The life of Job is such an interesting deep dive into the mind and emotion of a person who encounters great suffering. He is, quite literally, the comforting BIblical figure for so many who find themselves in season after season of loss, trying to make sense of themselves and God in the midst of it.

And, while Job himself is an important character to study, I have often found myself particularly interested in a few of the folks around him, namely, his wife and three buddies. They are an intriguing study in how people respond when others are suffering and a great read on what to do (and not do!) when you are trying to help.

Just in case you are unfamiliar with the story, Job’s life starts out pretty fantastic. He has a large family, lots of land, livestock, etc. He is living “blameless and upright” (Job 1:1) for the Lord when Satan does a flyby. Satan suggests that the only reason Job is faithful is because God has not allowed any hardship in his life. At this, God allows Satan an opportunity to access Job’s life, wreaking destruction, havoc, and death in almost every way imaginable. By the end of chapter 1 (of 42 chapters!) Job has lost all his livestock and his ten children. This is how the chapter ends:
“At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.” Job 1:20-22, NIV

Gracious! I cannot imagine that kind of loss, particularly all at once. The pain would be unbelievable, and the crisis of self, faith, and God is just as overwhelming. Certainly, it couldn’t get worse, but it does.

As we enter chapter 2, God allows Satan access not only to the things and people around Job, but to Job himself. He is afflicted with painful sores over his entire body, apparently pushing his wife to the limit of what she could stand. In her pain, she offers this, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Job 2:9-10, NIV

At this point, Job has lost his livelihood, his children, and his wife has turned on him and the Lord. But, here come his buddies, comforting Job and giving us a great example of how to be with someone who is suffering.

“When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” Job 2:11-13, NIV

These guys got it (at first). They did exactly what we need to do with suffering people sometimes. We need to just be there. Close our mouths. Pray. Weep for them. Gather with other friends and sit in solidarity just to say, “You're not alone.” If only they could have remained that way.

While they started strong, the remaining forty chapters of Job are him and his buddies going back and forth trying to interpret what the heck is happening to Job’s life. Sadly, Job’s friends fall into the trap that so many fall into, making assumptions that it is something the suffering person has done wrong and/or that the situation is something the suffering person can fix. Job suffers and struggles and has BIG emotions the whole way through, but He never renounces God. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through what he went through as he personally struggled, but also had his closest people leave either by death or disloyalty. Sometimes, loneliness can be as painful as anything else.

There are a few important lessons I want us to take away from this look at Job, particularly in terms of human suffering.

Suffering is never without God’s oversight. We are never without Him no matter how hard it is.
Suffering is difficult to tolerate, both for the sufferer and those around him/her. It takes a lot of patience to just be with someone without trying to interpret or explain what’s happening.
We are not fortune tellers. It is rarely helpful for us to give anyone a concrete reason why pain has happened in their life. It is almost always helpful just to listen, love, and learn.
As best you can, try to not abandon God or others in seasons of suffering. Loss is so difficult, but loneliness can be just as painful.

Let us be faithful, both to God and one another, especially in seasons of suffering. Job is such a beautiful example to learn from, both in what to do and what not to do. May God be with us in it all.

~ Anne Rulo